Nostalgia
by CrimsonLeather
Summary: Italy walks in his past and discovers an old friend and lover waiting for him all these years.


It was pitch black, at first, as if my very sense of sight was stolen from me... only my eyes were surely open. I couldn't see anything; I couldn't feel anything, wherever my hands are reaching out to. I couldn't hear anything but the pounding of my heart going faster and faster... I was scared. I know I didn't leave the room, it didn't seem likely so. I barely sleepwalk, even when I was a young boy. I tried calling out your name, but I could only let out a soft squeak. And so I whimpered, loud enough so that I could I hear myself.

And just when I thought I had died in my sleep, light slowly crept into my eyes, and I immediately knew where I was.

I found strength in my legs and feet, and slowly walked through gray hallways and mismatched frames of old rulers. I recognized this very familiar portrait of Austria-san hanging on one of the hazy walls; the mustache that I had drawn back when I was younger is still there.

My hand stroked the golden framing around the canvas and continued on to the cold wall as I walked past frame by frame. The hallway didn't seem to end at all...

Then I heard a sweet, little voice humming from afar. The hallway suddenly took a left, and so I followed. From a dark hall with dusty gray walls, I found myself walking in a sun-lit room with tall, marble pillars and a slippery clean floor. I can't see any frames, but there were definitely huge windows-huge enough to look out and see a beautiful sun-bathed scenery of lush, green hills and pastures. From here, I can distinguish this field of flowers I dearly remember and miss... this beautiful, white field that held some of my most special memories of...

The humming continued and I looked farther into the room. There I saw a small figure in a dress and a white apron over it. _She_ held a desk brush as _she_ worked over one side of the room. I slowly approached _her_ and I saw-oh, it's little me! How silly, after all these years, I've mistaken myself as a little girl...

The little guy stopped humming and looked at me. At first it looked like he was scared, then he cautiously asked me, "W-w-who are you, sir?"

I didn't want him to be confused, and so I replied, "No one you have to worry about. I'm a friend of Austria-san."

He blinked and smiled at me. "I see. Are you looking for him?"

I returned his smile with mine. "No no, actually, I don't know whom I'm supposed to be looking for..."

"You don't know? How could you not know?" he asked me, his eyes filled with curiosity.

"That I don't know myself," I said, letting out a slight chuckle.

He giggled with me then embraced the desk brush he was holding. Little me seems to be doing fine with the chores, with everything seeming so squeaky clean, it's amazing to think I was this hardworking.

I looked around the room and saw a wooden door, and since it's been almost a thousand years or so since I last set foot into this castle, I had forgotten if that door even existed. But I somehow felt like something was calling me from that door.

Little me noticed and said, "That door leads to a hallway to Holy Roman Empire's room. Would you like to meet him?"

I looked at him and saw his cheeks flush a slight pink. Little me is so cute when he blushes. Ve~...

"Some people might think he's a bit of a brat, but he's really a nice person... You are a country, too, right? I-I'm sure it'll be nice if he met you!" he said as he beamed up at me.

I smiled and nodded. "Okay, I'll go see him."

"Yes, sir. Oh, but I could only accompany you to the door because I have to keep cleaning, or Austria-san will get mad at me again..." He seemed to slump a bit, but quickly added, "I hope that's okay with you."

"Of course, little Ita-chan," I said, and realized my tongue had slipped.

"You know me, sir?" he asked, looking up at me. I was about to panic until he continued on: "Then you must be an important person, sir! Come with me!"

He ran for the door and opened it up for me. "Just follow the hallway and you'll see another door. That's Holy Roman Empire's room."

I walked beside him and gently pat his head. "Thank you, Ita-chan. I'll be seeing you." And with a last glance at him, I walked into the hall, and little me closed the door.

It felt like I was transported back into another gray hallway. The air felt dusty and damp, and smelled of old wood. Then I saw what little me had just said. Could he be there, behind that door? I couldn't wait any longer and strode fast through the hall as I wondered why I was brought back to this place. My hand reached and bolted for the knob, but I didn't turn it. My heart began to pound fast again... this time, I was nervous. Or was I scared to know what was in that room?

I knocked. There was no answer. I tapped again, and still no answer. And so, I turned the knob and I looked inside.

The room was small. It was dusty, and it felt grayer than ever. The corners were dark and shadowed. The only light there came from one single window. And there, just beside that window, a little boy sat on a wooden stool, looking out through the slightly dusty glass. His right arm sat obnoxiously on the window pane, and his hand supported his right cheek as he leaned towards the light. His coat and hat were naturally black, but they were covered in soot. His boots were muddied and soiled. His pale face was dirtied, and it seems that his hands were bruised.

"Holy... Roman Empire..?"

The little boy slowly looked at me and I saw his unmistakably blue eyes... those eyes that have looked upon me for so long, those eyes that were as blue as the big sky, but now a sullen sad color. He felt weak, tired. Lifeless. It's as if he had aged, but retained his young body.

I slowly walked up to him. "Is... is that you?"

"I knew you'd come here," he said in what seemed like a whisper. "I've known you'd come, sooner or later."

I was surprised. "Do you recognize me?"

He smiled, but his sad, broken smile seemed to break my heart. "Of course I do," he said. "How could I not recognize the one I love?"

My heart skipped a beat.

"Even after all these years, I still know it is you, Italy."

I cautiously knelt before him, afraid that any sudden movement could break whatever I touch. I gently held his hand and looked at his wounds. "What happened to you?"

"I disappeared," he said, "and I can barely remember what happened after. It's as if the whole world had sucked the life out of me, and turned me into a whisper in the wind: invisible and free."

"But how did you..?"

"During the thirty-year war, I was wounded badly and I wandered and lost myself along the way. My little body could not bare the burden I had to carry any longer, and I fell into ruins." He stopped to look at me then carried on. "I slowly began to deteriorate, but I didn't want to disappear entirely... as stubborn as I was, I tried to live and breathe like I always do, and then I realized that... I couldn't fulfill the promise that I made... do you remember?"

"Of-Of course I remember! How could I forget?" I felt tears streaming down my eyes. My hand trembled on his, and my body shook from the inside.

"Italy... I'm terribly sorry..." He held my hand as tight as his little, cold hands could possibly do and looked into my eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't come back for you... I... I'm ashamed of showing myself to you like this... it's like I'm begging you to recognize me as who I was before..."

"No... no, no, no! No, it's not like that! Not to me! All that matters to me is that you're here, right now, with me... I couldn't ask for anything more..!"

"But that is the problem, isn't it..." he said. "We can't be together like this for long... you know what this really is, right? An illusion. A sole representation of how you remember our time, and my being as who I was before I completely lost myself."

"What do you mean..?"

And to my horror and dismay, the shadows from the corners crept up to us and slowly engulfed the room in darkness. Frightened, I looked at him and saw his colors fading. I was losing him again.

"D-don't go! Not now when I'm able to talk with you again!"

He smiled at me, and his eyes seemed to lighten. "Don't worry, Italy. I have not completely left you in this world. You see, I may have lost me after the war, but my physical entity has always been with you... even today."

I was puzzled and scared at the same time. "What..?"

Holy Roman Empire stepped down from his stool-or rather, his arms and legs seemed to lengthen and his body seemed to grow. Not for long, he knelt in front of me and I saw a familiar face... that belonged to _you_. He put his arms around me and held me close... the warmth that I had felt from before was the same, but...

"Germany..?"

"We are two different persons of the same body, Italy... but do remember that, even if he is different, I am still with you and I will continue watching over you from above... or wherever."

"Germany... Holy Roman Empire... I'm confused..." My tears streamed down harder than a moment ago, and I held onto his back tightly.

"I'm so sorry, Italy... I..."

The light soon faded away, and I dug my fingers on his shoulders.

"I won't let go... Italy, our time is running short. You will soon find yourself back on your bed, safe and sound, but it won't exactly be me beside you... I understand you've learned to love him as you have learned to love me... and it doesn't trouble me at all. I still love you, Italy. I want you to be happy, and I won't have it any other way..."

"Holy Roman Empire..." I looked up at him and saw his bright, blue eyes, just like yours. They were growing distant, but I still felt his arms around me. "Don't go..."

"I'm not going anywhere..." He smiled at me, and that was the last thing I saw before everything disappeared.

I was back in the silent darkness, sobbing and drowning in my own tears. Then I heard a voice... coming closer and closer...

"..taly... Italy..."

Light streamed into my eyes and I saw your face. You looked at me with your concerned and troubled eyes, and I noticed the soft, dark lines under them. You haven't fixed your hair yet, and you were still in your night clothes: your under shirt and your boxers. It was, I realized, a few hours after dawn; I was back, and I have never felt so relieved in my life. "Germany..?"

"You were crying in your sleep, I got worried," you said to me as you wiped my tears away. "Was it a nightmare?"

I immediately wrapped myself around you and sobbed on your chest.

"Don't go... please, don't go..."

You looked at me, slightly confused, and hugged me close. You pressed your lips on my head, which sent warmth all over my body, and you whispered, "I won't. I'm not going anywhere..."

And as I began to melt in your embrace, I heard the first morning bird break a song into the silence-the same tune little me was humming in my dream. And it was a brand new day waiting for us.

* * *

Oh God. I know there are obvious loopholes to this story, and I deeply apologize, especially to hardcore Hetalia critics and fans. T3T

This story was created after reading a set of doujinshi, two of which are GermanyxItaly, with hints of Holy Roman Empire. In other words, it was the spur of the moment that I started typing this story down (on facebook-*SHOT*).

Anyway. Thank you for reading!


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